umbrella_half: (Twitch City - Newbie Cakery)
[personal profile] umbrella_half posting in [community profile] pacifi_cant
Twitch City, Hope/Curtis/Newbie, 500 words, R

Curtis suggested doing it in the living room, which Hope thought was fine, just fine, a little kinky but the good kind of kinky, but afterwards he and Newbie fought about which channel to watch, and what level of contrast on the set was best for watching a nature documentary. So she got up, went to take a shower, but Curtis decided to come and distract her by jerking off sitting on the toilet, and watching him and watching Newbie watch him… well, she was only human. She walked down Spadina later, thinking about it, and spilled lukewarm coffee on her boots.

The thing was, living with Curtis and Newbie was incredibly annoying. Their egos, their bad habits. Five kilograms of cat food bought in bulk and then put in the middle of the hallway. Dirty plates under the sofa cushions. Pubic hair on the soap. Sometimes she wondered why she bothered, and sometimes she laughed at herself. How stupid was I, she thought, to ever even say yes? What exactly possessed me? But then at other times she knew, she realised. They had sex, they laughed. Newbie brought home expired brownie mix.


“I blew a customer once,” Newbie said.

“You… what?” Hope asked. “Where? How?!”

“Er… well, y’know how it’s done, right? You just sorta open your mouth and try not to let your teeth get in the way.”

“No, no, I mean how, like, how did—”

“—like how did it happen?”

“Right,” she said, nodding. “Right. How did it happen?”

“Well, guy was there, giving me the eye, and I was up for it, and he was up for it, and the Korean lady was sorting out the snacks isle.”


“What do you think the employee restroom was for?” he said, giving her a grin.

“I’m not exactly sure what to say,” Hope said, trying not to smile too wide and failing. “You dog, Newbie!”

“Korean lady bought in some homemade kimchi the next day. That was pretty cool.”


“I think we’re all meant for each other,” said Curtis.

Hope could feel her mouth hanging open. What the fuck do you say to that?

“Um…” she said. “What makes you think that?” And wasn’t it a little early to be having this conversation? She had been fastidiously ignoring the topic. The three of them. What, where, how and why. Trust Curtis to scratch at that scab.

“Lucky told me. She said we’re meant for each other.”

There was a rare ten seconds of quiet. Then Hope spoke:

“What do you mean Lucky told you? She’s a CAT!”

“I’m a very intuitive person,” Curtis said. “I can read cats.”

“Read ‘em like books?” Newbie asked, from somewhere in the region of Curtis’s stomach, his fingers making light scratching motions.


“You just what, open them up and take a look inside? Put ‘em back on the shelf if there aren’t any dirty pictures? All those organs and entrails squishing about?”

“That’s gross,” Hope said.

“Nevertheless, and your doubt in me notwithstanding,” Curtis said, looking at both of them pointedly, “I can read cats.”


“Plus she talked to me,” he added, before thoughtfully licking a spot behind her ear.

for mrsfrankenstien
Prompt: "What do you mean, Lucky told you? She's a CAT!"

Date: 2010-04-10 11:07 pm (UTC)
sage: xkcd: crop of standing male stick figure facing a seated cat and exclaiming, "You're a kitty!" (kitty)
From: [personal profile] sage
*dies and is dead*

They are so loveable and WEIRD and this is AWESOME! So much like the show, only, you know, pornographic. :P

Date: 2010-04-10 11:48 pm (UTC)
roadie: (Callum - Newbie scarf)
From: [personal profile] roadie
I like the special connection between Curtis and Lucky. :D

Date: 2010-04-10 11:51 pm (UTC)
gwenfrankenstien: Cartoon version of Mattell's Frankie Stein doll, the teen daughter of Frankenstein's monster (ckr)
From: [personal profile] gwenfrankenstien
\o/ Thank you! This is awesome, definitely captured the weirdness that is their lives.

Date: 2010-04-10 11:55 pm (UTC)
petra: Barbara Gordon smiling knowingly (Default)
From: [personal profile] petra
Awwwwww. They are endearing freaks.

Date: 2010-04-11 12:47 am (UTC)
exbex: (Default)
From: [personal profile] exbex
this is so them. well done

Date: 2010-04-11 03:32 am (UTC)
mergatrude: a hermit crab peering from it's shell with the text "lurker" (Default)
From: [personal profile] mergatrude
HEE! This is terrific!

Date: 2010-04-11 06:17 am (UTC)
sli: clouds (Default)
From: [personal profile] sli
This is amazingly awesome.

Date: 2010-04-11 12:20 pm (UTC)
mamaffy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mamaffy
Yay, weird dialogue for the win! Great job. \u/

Date: 2010-04-11 01:07 pm (UTC)
lamentables: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lamentables
You channel the show so well. But with added smut. \o/

Date: 2010-04-11 06:55 pm (UTC)
endcredits: list of iniquity ([c6d] last night)
From: [personal profile] endcredits
SO MUCH LOVE! You've captured the tone of the show perfectly. ♥

I'm with Lucky: they're my favourite OT3 ever. :D

Date: 2010-04-11 11:20 pm (UTC)
akamine_chan: Created by me; please don't take (Default)
From: [personal profile] akamine_chan
I love the idea of putting the cats back on the shelf if there aren't dirty pictures in them! *g*

Date: 2010-04-12 09:20 am (UTC)
idreamedmusic: (Twitch City - Newbie Nipples)
From: [personal profile] idreamedmusic
This is so lovely!
You capture them so well and make it sound so homey and normal despite all the little quirky and insane things. ;)

Date: 2010-04-13 12:39 pm (UTC)
luzula: a Luzula pilosa, or hairy wood-rush (Default)
From: [personal profile] luzula
This is awesome and captures the show so well!



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