Somebody walks into a bar!

[sage]

So, Neal Caffrey walks into a bar. Or, James T. Kirk walks into a bar. Or Rick Castle. Or Parker. Or Diefenbaker...you get where I'm going with this. What happens next? Give us a drabble, a sketch, a limerick, a dirty joke, anything. Pick a character -- or three! or more! -- from the fandoms on our list and show us what kind of mess they get themselves into -- or out of!

(Note: PLEASE put fandom, pairing (if any), and rating info in the subject line!)