umbrella_half: (dS - lean back!)
[personal profile] umbrella_half posting in [community profile] pacifi_cant
due South, Turnbull/Welsh, 350 words, R

I think that, upon reflection, being pushed behind a building in a public place, having my trousers taken down, narrowly escaping an accidental scalping by a metal fire-escape stair and having oral sex performed on me was, while a highly exciting experience, probably not the most becoming thing for a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to agree to.

“You want to get out of here?”


“Turnbull. You, and me.”

“You and me?”

“Yup. You and me. Around the corner.”

“I’m not sure I quite…”

I also think that, given our relative ranks, within a joint operation in which both Constable Fraser and Detective Vecchio were ‘key players’ – as I believe the term is – that what I said to the Lieutenant could possibly have been considered insubordination.

“I thought you Canadians did subtlety.”

“We… I… I’m rather confused, sir.”

“How did you get assigned to the consulate in the first place, Constable?”

“What exactly…”

“Look, it’s quite simple. Easy as pie, Constable. You and me go around the corner, while Constable Fraser and Detective Vecchio are in the building with Inspector Thatcher and the forensics department.”

“Around the corner, and then what, sir?”

“Jesus, Turnbull, do I have to spell it out?”

“I… oh.”

“You get it now?”

“And what makes you think I would be interested? Sir.”

Upon reflection, I think that I could probably use a little practice in terms of mating calls. Maybe I can somehow subtly indicate this to Constable Fraser. Maybe he will be willing to give me a practical demonstration.

… But what interesting things fingers are when they’re holding your hips down! And where did the Lieutenant learn to do that with his mouth, I wonder? Maybe I should have taken off my hat beforehand—wouldn’t want it getting knocked on the floor.


“Oh, I… oh.”

“Oh? Like good oh?”


“You’re a pinnacle of loquaciousness, Constable.”

“Many have pointed that out, sir.”

Upon reflection, I must learn how to cover my tracks.


“Yes ma’am?”

“Your knees are dusty.”

“Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.”

For sam_gamgee
Prompt: "And what makes you think I would be interested? Sir."
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