mergatrude: wings (wings)
[personal profile] mergatrude posting in [community profile] pacifi_cant
From the moment I stumbled across a Charmed website while looking for episode summaries back in 2001, Fandom has been a part of my life.

Once I didn't know what being fannish was. Sure, I had attempted to watch every episode of Dr Who that aired. Sure, I had videotaped a show in order to rewatch and rewatch it *cough*Red Dwarf*cough*... but once I realised that people could spend so much of their time doing all sorts of fannish stuff, I wanted to spend as much time as possible catching up with said stuff. I wanted to DO said stuff. I spent a lot of time at buffyguide.com, discovered fanfiction.net, and my work productivity nose-dived. It hasn't really gotten better.

On the other hand, my Fandom life has. After being too scared and overwhelmed to get into Buffy fandom, after causing a (admittedly minor) kerfuffle amongst people writing Labyrinth fanfic, I stumbled across due South and found a fannish home.

Meanwhile work continued, but the gnawing feeling of "what are you going to do with your life/career/etc" could be eased by reading the latest fanfic, or taking up the latest [community profile] ds_flashfiction challenge. Home life continued, and the rough patches of cohabitation could be soothed by watching a couple of episodes of a beloved show. Printouts of fanfic filled a couple of suspension files at the back of my filing cabinet, and an archive box in the back of my wardrobe. The cabinet in the lounge room filled up with dvds of shows and movies my flist were watching, and Canadian movies and tv shows began to jostle their way in amongst the sci-fi, BBC shows and Australian movies.

And slowly, subtle changes took place in the way I thought about life, the universe and everything.

Having a couple of kids in the last few years has reduced the number of hours I have available to watch the lastest shows garnering Fandom's interest, or to scroll through my friends' list; and I don't seem to have much of a fic-writing brain at the moment. However, I still cling to the special feeling that Fandom gives me, that space of my own which is just about me liking what I like.
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